You know what is some maddening bullshit?

Tonight, a friend's band is playing at a pub that's less than a mile from my place.  It's a nice night, parking is such a pain in the city, plus I'd lose my nice spot when I got home.  I know I have a ride home, so why don't I walk?

Time to get ready.  Hmm are these jeans too tight?  I don't want any unwanted attention, but they're stretchy and comfortable, and they stay up without a belt.  I've put on a long sleeved T over my tank top, should I wear something that covers me more?  Do I need an extra-strength bra, in case it's chilly?  Well my hair is down, I can't wear it up because women with ponytails and braids are easier targets for grabbing.  And at least I don't have to think about my shoes, since I'm a sneakers person.

I can't listen to music or talk on the phone while I walk - those distractions could prevent me from noticing danger.  It's a weeknight, so I don't have anyone to go with because everyone has to work in the morning.

I can't take the most direct route - the last time I went in that direction, at noon on a Wednesday, a drunk man lurched out of a construction site and asked me to have sex with him.  And the time before that, two men followed me for awhile, keeping pace as I changed speeds and directions, even though I had a big dog with me.  Maybe those men prefer to harass women during daylight hours, but I'd rather not find out.

I am thinking of the streets with the most traffic though, and they have to have lots of lights.  I prefer walking against traffic on the one-ways, so I can see what's up a little better.

I actually considered calling my sister to tell her my route, destination, and what I'm wearing just in case.

I thought of all of this.  All of it, and probably more.  I even chided myself for doing something so stupid as considering walking to a bar alone.  I know what happens to women who go out alone.  And frankly, I'm afraid that my too tight jeans might become a talking point if it does.

My boyfriend texts: Wait for me.  You should not go alone.

He's right, but he is hours from home.